Keeping a Well-Maintained and Nurtured Marriage

Keeping a Well-Maintained and Nurtured Marriage

Marriage is a big step for most relationships, since it is the ceremonial joining of your individual lives and a huge commitment that you make to one another. Making the choice to get married can potentially change various things in your relationship and give you a new perspective on it and the roles you play in each other’s lives, or it can feel like the easiest and most natural transition possible. Regardless, if you truly want your marriage to last for years to come and to share a relationship that is filled to the brim with love, support, fun, and happiness at the end of the day, the work needs to be put in to accomplish such. Marriages take effort as a team, and today we are sharing with you some tips on how to maintain and nurture your marriage so that you and your partner can always feel connected, on the same page, and fulfilled.


Choose to Show Up for Each Other

Each day when you wake up, you should make the conscious choice to show up for your spouse in whatever way that you can. There will surely be some days you feel not yourself or like you are not in the best headspace, and the same goes for your partner. This is the time to go above and beyond for your person, to check in with them, and to support them however you can. It can also be beneficial to intentionally set aside time each day or each week to spend quality time with one another without distractions like phones, work, or kids if you have them. This can help with avoiding miscommunications and it’s the perfect way to show up for each other.


Treat One Another as You Did at the Start

Once you are married and settle into the comfortable routines that make up each day, it can be so easy for your relationship to be put on the backburner and to neglect the necessary nurturing of your spouse and marriage as a whole. A good mindset to have within your marriage is to think of and treat your partner as you did in the beginning stages of your relationship or during the “honeymoon phase” as it is often called. As time goes on and the initial excitement wears off, you of course find more profound meaning in your relationship and discover a deep sense of love for one another. Even though you may love and cherish your spouse, over time you may start to take one another for granted without even realizing it. Start each day with a fresh outlook and try to always make each other feel special whenever you can.


Focus on Common Goals you Share

It’s healthy and normal for each individual in a marriage to have their own hobbies, interests, and goals that they can dive into and enjoy on their own. It is also healthy to communicate and set goals as a team with your spouse. Taking the time to figure out what you would each like the future to look like for the both of you is an ideal way to bond and connect in your marriage. As time goes on, goals and interests will of course change and evolve – which is why it is so important to regularly check in and converse about any new goals you would like to work towards together. This is also a fantastic way to continue learning about not only your spouse, but yourself as well.


Try New Things Together

If you are worried about getting stuck in a rut and losing the spark in your marriage, make the conscious effort to always try new things together when the opportunity presents itself. It can be something as simple as trying a new restaurant every month, or you can go on an epic adventure whenever you are traveling and try an activity that you both have never done before, like parasailing or scuba diving. Trying new things and having those shared experiences with your spouse is the perfect way to make new and lasting memories that will bring you closer together. There are few things as wonderful as getting to try new things and have the time of your life with the person you love, which is why doing so is part of the recipe for a well-maintained marriage.


Show Respect and Provide Support

A couple of aspects that are so simple yet so often overlooked is the act of being mindful of how you show support and respect towards your partner. When you’re in a committed relationship for a long time and get very comfortable, little quarrels and irritations are bound to take place here and there. You might not think about how grateful you are for that person as regularly or go out of your way to show your appreciation after some time, but it’s never too late to step up and start making more effort in these departments. Your spouse is your teammate through the waves and different phases that life brings along, so always be there to stand up for one another, show mutual respect, and be an unwavering source of support for them whenever possible.


Hard times will inevitably come in any marriage, as that is just the way of life. As long as the choice is always made each day to try your best for your spouse and to work through hardships together, to be supportive, and to be each other’s safe place, your marriage should remain highly nurtured and maintained. Every marriage is of course vastly different and there is no rulebook with foolproof information on how to make it last forever, but being on the same page and agreeing to always take on life together will make an absolute world of a difference.


Getting Help

If you and your significant other are in need of some help, do not hesitate to reach out to us. All relationships face hardships and getting help from a relationship counselor is a great way to work through hardship as a team. We have a number of providers that can provide relationship/couples counseling. Additionally, our team of compassionate professionals specializes in anxiety and depression in children, adolescents, and adults and continues to provide psychological and psychiatric services in-person and online. In-person counseling appointments are available in our DFW (Southlake) offices. Online counseling appointments are available to patients in the Austin, DFW, Houston, and San Antonio areas.


Dr. Michael Messina

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