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How to Cope with Valentine’s Day Loneliness

How to Cope with Valentine’s Day Loneliness

Valentine’s Day is a time to take a moment out to express your love to your significant other and other loved ones. While this sounds like it should just be an amazing thing, this holiday can tend to bring up a lot of loneliness in individuals who do not have a partner to spend this holiday with. It is completely understandable that someone might feel this way, but that does not mean you have to just accept that you will feel sad during this period. There are plenty of ways to cope with feelings of loneliness during the time surrounding Valentine’s Day, and today we are going to discuss what some of those mechanisms are.


Have a Day for Yourself

If you are feeling lonely around mid-February and want to combat those feelings as much as possible, think ahead and plan a day for yourself where you can do all of your favorite activities and show yourself the kind of love you absolutely deserve to feel. If you enjoy being active and getting outside, maybe take a day either on Valentine’s Day or during that week to go hiking at a new spot you have never been before, or if you feel like you need a day to relax you can treat yourself to a rejuvenating spa day. It is wonderful to shower those around us with love and affection, but it is equally as important to show it to ourselves, as well.

If you have a set routine throughout your week, try not to let the fact that it is Valentine’s Day disrupt this and ruin everything. Do your very best to continue on through this time and you likely will not even notice that the day has come and gone since you were not allowing yourself to dwell on it. It might sound cliché, but when we show ourselves the love we desire, we are able to express and demonstrate love more easily and willingly toward others in our lives. At the end of the day, you are the only person that is there for you one hundred percent of the time and that knows exactly how you want to feel and be treated.  


Make Plans with Friends

One way to manage any negative feelings around Valentine’s Day is to schedule a get together with your closest friends to have some quality time and show each other the love and appreciation you might not get to express all of the time. The important friends we have in our lives are equally as significant as any partner, and it is imperative to let them know that they are always cherished and valued. Perhaps you can have a night where you get together and make a tasty dinner or watch your favorite movies. Spending time like this with your friends can help you recognize that Valentine’s Day is not only for those in romantic relationships and that there is more love in your life than you even realized.

Feeling lonely during a holiday that is centered around romantic partners is completely understandable, but when you shift your focus onto others around you that you happen to be close with and you surround yourself with their love, it is a simple way to prevent feeling like you are alone during this time.


Spread Love to Others

Since Valentine’s Day is all about showing love and appreciation at the core of it, it could be a great idea to go out of your way to spread love to others that might be feeling similarly to you. It might seem like everyone except you is in a happy relationship and is having an extraordinary Valentine’s Day, but that is simply not the case. There are more individuals out there than you even realize that might be feeling just as lonely during this time as you are, so why not go out of your way to make someone in your life feel extra valued and loved?

You can even achieve the task of dispersing love to others by going out of your way to volunteer somewhere or doing something special for a stranger that could be feeling the exact same way that you are feeling. Doing something thoughtful for another individual will surely brighten their day and will likely leave you feeling much better as a result of going out of your way to cheer someone else up.


Remember it is Just Another Day

While it is nice to spend Valentine’s Day with a significant other and dedicate this day to showing how much you love and appreciate them, try to remember that this holiday is really just a day like any other and only holds as much value as you provide to it. Valentine’s Day has truly become tremendously commercialized and more about buying things for others than actually going out of the way to show love and appreciation toward others in your life. If the obsession surrounding Valentine’s Day has you feeling low, keep in mind that it is just a day and it will pass before you know it. Attempt to look at the holiday in a positive light and do not let it ruin your disposition, as it cannot have power over you if you do not allow it.

While Valentine’s Day is a wonderful reason to go out of your way to show adoration to those who are closest to you in your life, it can leave a lot of individuals feeling lonely, which is completely understandable and validated. Instead of simply looking at this day in a negative light and allowing it to just come along and ruin how you feel, prepare in advance to combat the blues that might come with this day so that you are not dwelling on the undesirable thoughts. Expressing love to others around you is a positively beautiful thing and celebrating Valentine’s Day is still completely achievable even if you do not have a significant other to focus on during this holiday.


Getting Help

If you feel overwhelmed by your feelings during this time, please reach out to our team of psychiatrists and therapists. We are ready to help you navigate your feelings and find balance in life. We offer in-person appointments to patients in our DFW (Southlake) office. We also offer online appointments to patients in the Austin, DFW, Houston, and San Antonio areas. 




Dr. Michael Messina

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